I have to prepare food for my brother, who has autism, or help him get ready for his transport to school.
We often use the phrase “growing up” but we rarely think about exactly what it means. Like any living thing our growth from childhood to adulthood depends on conditions that nourish us and allow us to thrive. Here Ty speaks about the relationships that have helped forge his personality, and how Family Action provided a space for young carers like him.
Finding Family Action’s young carers service
I’ve been coming to Family Action’s young carers service since I was 10, and I’m 17 now. Mum has intestinal problems and sometimes she needs help getting out of bed because of the pain. Sometimes she can’t even get out of bed in the first place, so I have to prepare food for my brother, who has autism, or help him get ready for his transport to school.
My memories of being a carer in the early days are a bit hazy, but I remember one time my mum was in agony as her illness had flared up really bad, and I had to get a hot water bottle, but the one we had didn’t have a cover so I had to get a really big normal bottle and wrap a t-shirt round it so it didn’t burn her.
When I started at the young carers service I didn’t even know what a young carer was or that I was one… but working with the staff and meeting the group of young carers there made it apparent to me. As a 10-year-old I was definitely the most energetic when I joined the group; I never shut up, I was always hyper, energetic and I would get angry when I felt like I was being told off… I was an absolute train.
The group helped improve my social skills, grow new bonds with people, and get me out doing activities in the community. It’s like I have an extra family.
Growing up with other young carers
I have literally grown up with all these people, and it’s weird seeing how big we all got. But it goes the other way too – like the friend who I’ve known since the beginning of my first day, when they were 14 and I was 10. They’re a good person and helped me a lot with getting the hang of things like social interactions – we have the closest bond.
Now, like my friend, I’ve become an ambassador for the service, which suits me as I’ve always been the helping type; I like to comfort people and be there for others. I’ll talk to the younger members about how they’re feeling and what’s going on in their head and offer insight from my own experiences.
It’s not always easy though… On a recent Alton Towers trip, I was paired with three of the younger ones and they were very energetic, like I used to be, and I could barely keep up!
Starting college
I did well enough to get into college though, and luckily that was completely different. The very first day of college I walked in and everyone was already sat down, so I sat down next to a guy I’d met on the opening day and got chatting to him and the other guy next to me.
We became a trio almost immediately and hung around together all the time; it’s weird how close we are. It reminds me of the young carers group as they’re like my brothers; I know their families and they’ll come on trips with me and my mum.
Growing closer together
College also opened me up to new experiences too – such as my first metal gig, which was a very big thing for me. It was something I was into, and I love the music, but this was my first opportunity to experience it live and share it with others.
I mostly loved the mosh pit, where people were dancing, as it’s the perfect combination for me…aggressive and intense, yet also peaceful and chill.
Just like the young carers group, it’s nice to have the chance to grow new bonds with people that can relate to things you care about and know what’s going on with you. I’m so lucky that I’ve found the right people in my life… They all just click.
