Home Stories Vicky’s story: how the Toy Appeal saved Christmas

Vicky’s story: how the Toy Appeal saved Christmas

7 November 2024
Children & Families Food & Financial Hardship
Story

It’s Christmas morning, and you’re worried about explaining to your older children that their baby sibling hasn’t been naughty, you simply can’t afford presents. That’s a reality for some families. Difficult circumstances can make it feel impossible to recapture treasured memories of how Christmas used to be. Our Toy Appeal is about keeping dreams alive, as Vicky explains.

From a very young age I remember my nan decorating her house like a Christmas grotto… It was lit up like a beacon. I vowed that when I was older, and I had children that would be the one thing I’d keep alive. But fast forward to a few years ago and things weren’t going to plan… That Christmas I was heavily pregnant with my third child, sleeping on a double mattress on my mum’s living room floor and it was hard work. I was in the process of separating from my youngest child’s father and I wasn’t in a good place emotionally.

I promised the kids that the following year we’d have all the lights up. We’d have our amazing Christmas.

Vicky, mum of three

I felt completely on my own. The council’s perinatal mental health team told me they couldn’t do anything for me. But thankfully they did put me in touch with Family Action’s Flourishing Babies service. I was contacted by my Family Action Perinatal Support Worker shortly after. We clicked right at the beginning. It felt like she was more of a friend who I could just talk about things with, and it helped with my worries.

A place to call home?

Two weeks later I moved into my new social housing. My new house was supposed to be a fresh start. It wasn’t. There was dirt everywhere, the back garden was literally full of food waste and dirty nappies and there was no kitchen ceiling. That was the worst time in my life, as I felt like I’d let everyone down. My baby didn’t have a dad around. I’d moved my children into a house with vermin running round. I felt like everything that had happened had been my fault.

During this time Family Action was my main support. My support worker was there when I needed her - always on the end of the phone.

She even made a referral to a local charity to get the essentials I needed for the baby. I feel like without her support I would have turned to self-harming to cope.

New beginnings

My baby was due at the end of April, but I went for a scan at the end of March and he’d stopped growing, so I was booked in for a cesarean and was given a week’s notice. When I went in, I hadn’t got my hospital bag ready and I hadn’t got any baby clothes, but my support worker made sure I had it all. I had an awful time in hospital as well, as complications led to further surgery, so I was kept in for a few extra days. But there’s a positive side…

Because I knew when the baby was coming, my local MP got involved and got the housing association to agree to doing everything by the time the baby came. My ceiling actually went up while I was having the cesarean. My support worker was there emotionally over the phone during the delivery and then, as soon as I got out, she came for a house visit and brought me chocolates… although I think she just wanted baby cuddles!

Importantly, she also dragged me to a lot of baby groups where I didn’t feel like I was being judged and like people were making assumptions about me. Everyone had been through something, we could share, and I’ve clicked with a couple of the other parents.

Although things were better, the amazing Christmas I’d promised looked a long way off. As it got closer to Christmas again, it was clear it would be a case of not paying a bill if I wanted to buy Christmas presents. I felt useless but there was no way I could find the money.

I decided I couldn’t scrimp on the tree, so my kids and I went to the tree farm and had a lovely time where we picked one out and got caked in mud. But I kept thinking of my nan as I was cutting down on the lights and decorations. I told my support worker it was really getting to me that I couldn’t do anything for my children and she said “what have you got?”

I told her I’d managed to get a couple of presents but worried that, because I couldn’t afford anything for my youngest, my seven and five-year-old would wonder why he didn’t get anything from Santa and whether he’d been a naughty baby.

Toy Appeal took a weight off my shoulders

At that point I’d skipped two weeks of rent to buy the presents I’d got. I didn’t have a penny to my name, no food in the house, and I was using a food bank. My support worker suggested giving me some presents from the Toy Appeal and I said “no, there’s people who need it more than me”… and (in a nice way) she told me to stop being stupid!

In all honesty it was a huge weight off my shoulders as I didn’t have to think of lies to say to the kids as to why the baby had got nothing. I’d say that without the people who donate my children would have gone without last year, and not having the resources to provide made me feel useless as a mum.

In the end it actually felt quite nice because they were sent wrapped, which I didn’t expect and was a nice surprise for me too. I think Nan would have approved.

Donate

Keep the magic of Christmas alive for a child or young person with nothing to open this year with a symbolic gift donated to our Toy Appeal.

Thank you for your donation to our Toy Appeal. Your gift will bring some magic to a child and their family who have been through hard times this year. If you ever need support, we're here for every family and any family issue through our UK-wide FamilyLine. Thank you again for your donation, please take a look at the rest our website where you will find more information about what we do, our impact on families, stories of those we've helped and how to get support if you need it. Make another donation

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