Maintaining relationships after adoption

Maintaining relationships between an adopted person and their birth family can be hugely beneficial if it’s safe to do so, but it’s not always easy. In this article, we’ll look at the benefits of contact, the most common methods of staying in touch, how it all works and some of the challenges.

How it works

As part of making an adoption order, the social worker will create a contact plan that fits with the child’s needs. This can change over time as the child’s needs change.

Modern adoption aims to support contact between adopted people and their birth family, but the reality can fall short of the ideal. A 2023 PAC-UK report based on the opinions of adopted people found that only 54% of those adopted since the 1990s had some contact with their birth family when they were under the age of 18. And of those people, 62% regretted not having contact.

Staying in touch can be emotionally challenging for all involved, but ultimately the benefits – especially for the adopted person – outweigh the challenges.

The benefits of maintaining relationships between adopted people and birth family

One of the top reasons contact with an adopted person’s birth family is so important is for their sense of identity. PAC-UK research found only 13% of adopted people felt they had enough information to have a sense of their own identity. One commented that knowing more about their past “would have made me feel like a ‘real’ person, someone with substance rather than a sort of ghost.”

The adopted child can benefit from a better sense of identity and wellbeing from staying in touch with birth family, as it allows them to learn more about their parents and their heritage. This can help them develop more trust with their adoptive family too.