Are you ready to adopt?

9 October 2024

Even if you’re certain you want to adopt, it’s natural to wonder if you’re ready. Is this the right time to start the application process?

As well as being incredibly rewarding, adoption is likely to bring with it a unique set of challenges. The application process, along with the training and support that are part of this, is designed to make sure you’re ready for what’s ahead on your journey as an adoptive parent.

While we can’t give you a yes or no answer to the question of if you are ready to adopt, this article covers some important things to think about when you’re making that decision.

Who can adopt?

Adoption agencies look at each case individually, but there are some things that should apply to you before you start the adoption process:

  • You’re aged 21 or over.
  • You’ve lived in the UK for at least one year (although you don’t have to be a British citizen).
  • You’re financially secure.
  • You have space in your home for a child.
  • You haven’t committed any serious offences, particularly those against children.
  • You’re prepared to have a full medical examination and discuss your health.

Things that don’t affect your readiness to adopt include:

  • Your relationship status
  • Your sexuality
  • Your ethnicity
  • If you have a job or not, or you’re self-employed (as long as you’re financially secure)
  • If you have children already.

In simple terms, you must be prepared for the life-long commitment to physically, financially and emotionally provide for the child you adopt.

Have you done your research?

Finding out as much as you can about the adoption process can help you make an informed decision about your readiness to adopt.

As part of this research, you might read up on or speak to more than one adoption agency. They’ll all have their own information and resources about how the process works, as well as offering training and opportunities to meet other potential adoptive parents.

You may find you feel more comfortable with one agency over another, and that’s fine. There’s nothing to say you have to go with a particular agency over another – for example, because it’s geographically closest to you. You’ll be working very closely with your chosen adoption agency for months, so it’s important that it feels like a good match.

In simple terms, you must be prepared for the life-long commitment to physically, financially and emotionally provide for the child you adopt.

Do you feel ready emotionally?

The application process is demanding, with lots of detailed, in-depth questions and training to help prepare you to become an adoptive parent. It’s important that you feel emotionally ready to get started with this.

We’ve already mentioned that adoption, while rewarding, can also be challenging. Adoptive parent Anne shared how her adopted child bonded with her husband much more quickly than he did with her, and how hard it can be before your child has come to trust you. Fortunately, you don’t have to cope with situations like these alone, as PAC-UK is there to support you when you need it. Read more in our story: Adoption – the hardest, and greatest year of my life.

Anne also explained how the application process took longer than expected, as it was necessary to take a break for bereavement. Difficult emotions like grief can make a challenging process that much more difficult. Even if you don’t feel like it’s necessary in the moment, taking a break from the adoption process may be for the best in the long term.

If you’ve decided to adopt because you were unable to have a biological child, it’s important that you don’t rush into the adoption process. Instead, make sure you’ve taken the time you need to process any difficult emotions you experienced during and after the time you were trying to conceive.

However, it’s also important to recognise that your journey when trying to conceive may have taught you a lot about dealing with stress and difficult emotions. This in turn may have made you more resilient and better prepared for what comes next.

Do you have enough support around you?

All parents need support and that’s no different for adoptive parents, and particularly single people who choose to adopt. While being a single adoptive parent means you’re likely to build a very special bond with your child and you won’t have to consult another person when making parenting decisions, you also won’t have another person to fall back on for support as you would if you adopted with a partner.

Having a good support network around you – whatever that looks like for you – is important. And having friends and family around you that understand and back your decision to adopt can make life easier for all adoptive parents, and not just those who’ve made the decision to be single parents.

If you’re in a relationship and looking at adoption, it’s vital that you and your partner are in agreement at every step of the way. You’re in it together, and you’ll be each other’s first stop for support when you need it, whether that’s early in the application process or later when you’ve been matched with a child.

More information and resources

For more information and resources to help you decide if you are ready to adopt, take a look at:

If you need any more guidance or information, contact our free and confidential PAC-UK Advice Line via phone (0300 1800 090) or email [email protected].

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