Supporting neurodivergent children at Halloween

Autumn is a time of change: the nights get longer, the days get shorter, and the trees are changing colour. Halloween is fast approaching and while many children love it, we also know many do not. In this article, our West Suffolk Neurodevelopmental Support Service shares some tips so you can support your child at Halloween – whether they’re neurodivergent or neurotypical.

Halloween may bring unexpected challenges and changes for our children. For example, we overlook some social norms such as not speaking to or taking sweets from a stranger. There are also many unknowns about a night like Halloween:

Who might come to our door?
Will they knock or ring the bell?
Will they be wearing bright, colourful or scary outfits?
Will they talk loudly or quietly?
What will they ask?
What if I knock on someone’s door and they don’t answer?
What should I say when I knock on someone’s door?
What if the person gives me a treat I don’t like?
What if I become overwhelmed?

All of this means Halloween can be very exciting for some, while others will find it worrying.

Celebrating Halloween at home

Halloween can be a great opportunity to spend time as a family having fun – and there are no rules as to what that should look like. Do what suits your family:

make your favourite meal
do your usual activities with a Halloween twist
dress in your favourite outfit
read stories like the Meg & Mog series by Helen Nicoll, Room on the Broom by Julia Donaldson and Funnybones by Allan Ahlberg
make memories together.

Some super sensory ideas include:

bobbing for apples
painting your faces
eating brightly coloured foods
listening to haunting sounds
looking for treats (jelly sweets) in slimy worms (cold tinned spaghetti).

Don’t feel you have to celebrate Halloween at all, but if you do, keep things simple. Empower your young person by encouraging them to say “no”, if they do not wish to join in activities. A short but positive Halloween experience will be better than an hours-long experience that ends with a meltdown.

And if it’s all way too much, then maybe it’s a night to dim the lights, snuggle up and watch a film or read a book.

Empower your young person by encouraging them to say “no”, if they do not wish to join in activities. A short but positive Halloween experience will be better than an hours-long experience that ends with a meltdown.

If you and your family decide to go trick-or-treating

If your plan is to go trick-or-treating, a bit of forward planning and preparation can help the night pass smoothly.

Have a clear plan

Having a plan gives your child or young person a sense of predictability and some clear expectations. State when you’ll be going out trick-or-treating, for how long and where. Be aware of things and situations that may trigger your child and also what helps them cope.

Explain to your child or young person that some people don’t like Halloween and don’t participate, so it’s important to only go to houses that have decorations. Be mindful of signs that ask you not to knock, or pre-arrange to simply go to a few houses of friends or family.

Once you’ve made your plan, stick to it as much as possible, but include “what if” scenarios too in case things don’t go as planned. The weather, for example, is often unpredictable. Deciding in advance what you’ll do if it rains can help make any unforeseen changes more manageable.

Use social stories

Social stories are short outlines of a certain activity or situation that can help children better understand what will happen. You might want to use one for a child or young person who is anxious about people walking the streets in scary costumes or knocking on the door. You could use the social story to explain:

who these people are (for example, they’re just regular people dressing up)
that this is a tradition
what your child or young person can do if they’re worried.

You can also include useful skills – for example: “If I feel worried I can take three deep breaths”.

Alternatively, you might use a social story for a child or young person who is extremely excited and might have trouble controlling their impulse to grab all the sweets or run as fast as they can to the next house. You can use the social story to address concerns or safety issues and set out realistic expectations for behaviour.

You could even use a social story to explain that some people don’t like Halloween and help your child understand how to respect other people’s feelings despite their own excitement.

This article from the National Autistic Society includes more information about social stories and how to write your own.

Scripts

As well as creating a social story, children or young people who find social situations difficult may feel better prepared if you give them a script for trick-or-treating.

You might teach or remind your child about the tradition of saying “trick or treat” when the door opens. You could also include social prompts, like: “thank you”, “have a good evening” or “I like your decorations”.

It could benefit you to prepare a script for yourself as well, in case you find yourself in a tricky situation. For example, how might you respond if your child states in a matter-of-fact way that they don’t like the sweets on offer?

Consider an exit strategy

Your child or young person can cope with a fixed amount of stress, much like a bucket can hold a fixed amount of water. Each child is individual with regards to what fills their bucket, but if their bucket is full, it can lead to overwhelm.

Be aware of your child’s overwhelm bucket, and be prepared to stop and go home. Consider a code word or a non-verbal signal that says: “I’ve had enough”. Sometimes just knowing there’s a way out of a situation is reassuring.

Safety

Safety may be a concern during Halloween for various reasons, so for those that have phones you could use a phone tracker. Some phones have tracking built in but you may need to download an app for others.

This can help to give you peace of mind if young ones are out with friends or if you have worries about them becoming lost. If you have any doubts, go out together as a family.

Dressing up can cause major sensory issues and discomfort for some children and young people, so consider alternatives like coloured hairspray or dressing up over clothes they're used to.

Dressing up alternatives

Whether you’re staying in or going out, dressing up can cause major sensory issues for some children and young people. It could also simply be a source of discomfort for social reasons.

If your child or young person wants to participate in Halloween traditions but doesn’t want to dress up, they could try:

Coloured hair spray: This can be fun and comes off easily without causing discomfort to the skin.
Dressing up a toy in Halloween attire: Mummify a teddy or make a doll into a ghost.
Dressing up over their regular clothing: This way nothing new, different or uncomfortable will make contact with the skin.
Wearing characterised clothing they already own and like: Halloween costumes don’t just have to be spooky or scary.

Those are our tips for supporting your child at Halloween. Is there anything you’d add to this? Let us know your thoughts on Facebook or Instagram.

This article was written in collaboration with West Suffolk Neurodevelopmental Support Service. Use our online service finder for SEND and neurodiversity services in your area, or find your local IASS here.

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Supporting neurodivergent children at Halloween

Celebrating Halloween at home

If you and your family decide to go trick-or-treating

Have a clear plan

Use social stories

Scripts

Consider an exit strategy

Safety

Dressing up alternatives

Call, text, email or web chat FamilyLine

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