Supporting neurodivergent children at Christmas

Christmas gifts

Christmas presents themselves can bring challenges. The excitement, or sometimes the uncertainty, of what might be under the wrapping paper can be intense. If this is the case, you could add clues on the gift tag, leave a peep hole in the paper, or wrap gifts in clear cellophane. And some children might prefer opening gifts quietly or without an audience to minimise any social pressure.

The anticipation of having to ‘wait and see’ can be tough for some children and young people. In this situation, you might let your child or young person open some presents early, or after Christmas, to reduce the overwhelm on a single day. Always be guided by them.

Prepare your child with visual cues and ‘what ifs’

Having a clear plan for the day can help reduce the uncertainty that comes with social gatherings, especially when many family members may be visiting or there’s travel involved. A visual timetable or a social story can be useful for laying out the day as it helps children understand:

• who is coming
• when they’re coming
• what activities are planned, if they choose to join in.

Include ‘what ifs’ in the plans, such as:

• If it’s too loud, I can use my ear plugs.
• If I don’t want to play the game, I can listen to music instead.
• If I feel too hot, I can go outside.
• If I need some quiet time, I can sit in my room.

If it’s likely your child may become overwhelmed during visits, you could agree in advance a discreet non-verbal signal your child can use to let you know they need a break. At home, this could be as simple as them collecting a blanket from the lounge and heading upstairs. If you’re visiting others, it might be a gentle squeeze of the hand.

When visiting others, stick to a realistic timeframe for your young person so it’s a positive experience. Check with your hosts beforehand if there’s a quiet space your child or young person can retreat to if needed. To make a new place feel more manageable, take things that help your child feel comfortable, such as:

• comfort items
• ear plugs
• headphones
• fidget toys
• a weighted blanket.

Don’t focus too much on Father Christmas

It can be best not to talk too much about Father Christmas. While some children love the idea of Father Christmas, others may worry about someone coming into the home or being on a ‘naughty or nice list’.

If your child worries about Santa, think about how you can focus less on this aspect of Christmas. Alternatively, you might explain that you’ve spoken to Father Christmas and agreed that he’ll knock on the door and let the grown-ups know when he’s arrived. Or perhaps in some homes Santa leaves the gifts in the garage for parents to collect the next morning?

A positive and inclusive Christmas for your whole family

Most importantly, aim to create a Christmas that brings joy, comfort, and peace to your family. Neurodivergent children and young people may not always feel the same excitement around Christmas traditions, and that’s perfectly fine.

Think about what’s important to your family and what a successful Christmas looks like for you. And above all, be kind to yourself. Just by reading this, you’re already doing great things to make Christmas accessible, joyful, and inclusive for your child.

This article was written in collaboration with West Suffolk Neurodevelopmental Support Service. Use our online service finder for SEND and neurodiversity services in your area.