The return to school can invoke a range of feelings, and these emotions can be magnified for children with special educational needs and disabilities (SEND). Here our experts share back to school tips for children with SEND, and discuss how it’s not whether your glass is half full or half empty – it’s a bucket you should be thinking of instead.
Confused? Read on…
The return to school after a long summer break can be a time of transition and can, therefore, cause uncertainty and stress for young people. Family Support Worker Emily and Project Worker Amber at our Neurodevelopmental service in West Suffolk explain that routine and predictability are hugely important to children they work with and that transitions in general bring uncertainty and worry – even when it’s a new pair of shoes or a scratchy cardigan.
For a lot of our children with SEND, transitions are something they’re going through every single day in one way or another.
The bucket theory
That said, the big milestone transitions – like ‘back to school’ – can cause an enormous amount of stress and support workers see much more dysregulated behaviour during these milestones. Project Worker Amber says: “We have lots of conversations with parents about things like moving classes, leaving school or going to college, which can all involve experiences like navigating different corridors or sitting next to somebody new.
“Sometimes it’s hard for parents to understand why these transitions are difficult – especially if a child’s neurodivergent and the parent’s neurotypical or if they have a sibling who it’s not been a big deal for. But you’ve got to acknowledge those feelings they have and realise they’re not choosing to find a transition difficult… We need to be empathetic”.
This can be hard for parents who can often find themselves in a difficult “Catch 22” situation, worrying not only about the impact of transition on their child, but also managing modified or sometimes challenging behaviours. Enter the bucket theory.
In our work with families we often use the bucket model: imagine an invisible bucket which overflows when people are overwhelmed, and those behaviours are the overflow - whether that’s going mute or self-harming.
Back to school tips for children with SEND
So, managing transitions in this model is more about reducing the mental load our children carry – letting out or taking away some of the water in the bucket.
But how do we do that, and are there any simple back to school tips for children with SEND? Well, everybody is individual and no answer suits everyone, but Emily and Amber have some helpful advice. It can help to have visual references so, for example, you might take photographs of the toilets at school or the hotel room you’ll be visiting on holiday so your child can prepare beforehand. Transitional objects can help ground your child and help them know they’re safe.
“What that object is can be very individual, “ says Amber. “Maybe a young child might have a painted stone which matches one their mum holds at home. We’ve also had parents who’ve just drawn a little love heart on both theirs and their children’s hands – it’s just a reminder so they know their parent, or parents are safe at home and thinking of them. You also can’t overlook the sensory value if that object can also be chewed or fiddled with for sensory stimulus.”
Although not always applicable to school it can also help for young people to view TV shows, online videos or games with which they feel familiar.
Predictability and routine
Emily adds: “When the environment is so unpredictable and changing it can help if adults allow young people to access things that hold their attention while offering predictability. When you do that thing for your child it’s a little hole in the bucket that can give them comfort”.
The service also cautions against thinking the job is done once the school year has started, as sometimes new concerns can arise out of unexpected areas. “Parents are often prepared for their children moving into a new year,” says Emily, “but some of the things that can be really difficult are things that we would expect them to be excited about, like their birthday or Christmas or a holiday.”
Think about what happens at school over Christmas. They’re not on timetables, there’s dress down days, you eat different foods - all those things undermine the predictability and stability we’ve been speaking about.
When speaking with schools or social settings, you shouldn’t be afraid to try to advocate for what you know works for your child. Amber adds: “With a lot of the workshops we deliver we don’t tell the parents how to do anything, as every child’s individual and things that work for some children might not work for others.
“We work with families to identify a child’s individual needs as not every neurodivergent child is the same – they will have different needs. We encourage parents to recognise that they are the ‘expert’ in their chid and to work alongside schools to have adjustments that are bespoke for the young person”.
Read more back to school tips for children with SEND
If you’re a parent or carer and you’re affected by any of the issues in this story, you’re not alone. Explore our self-help resources, or contact FamilyLine where our trained volunteers will listen, however you’re feeling, and help you find support services that are local to you.
