Your back to school questions answered

31 July 2024

Although the return to school is often keenly anticipated by parents exhausted by entertaining children and negotiating with teenagers, it’s also a transition point that can cause significant stress.

Our free FamilyLine support service receives a significant number of calls about education and, of course, the financial requirements that can accompany schooling mean that for many families the stress of money and school are intertwined.

Here we discuss some of the common concerns we’ve heard from families, including those whose children have special educational needs and/or disabilities (SEND). We also suggest cheap and easy back to school solutions, tips and hacks to help out wherever possible.

Can I get help with the cost of uniforms?

The cost of school uniforms is not to be taken lightly. Research from the Schoolwear Association published in 2024 concluded that the average cost of compulsory school uniform and sportswear items was £92.35 per pupil. Although these don’t always need to be replaced every year, this is still a significant cost for struggling families.

If you’re struggling to buy uniforms for your children, check what’s available in your school’s secondhand uniform shop. Children often grow so fast that many schools can offer secondhand uniform that’s almost as good as new for a fraction of the cost of buying new.

Otherwise, get in touch with your local education authority (LEA), which may be able to help with the school uniform costs. Find out more about contacting your LEA on the government website.

What about the cost of feeding my children at school?

All children in England in infant schools receive free school meals. Older children might be able to get free school meals if you receive any of the following benefits:

  • Income Support
  • Income-based Jobseeker’s Allowance
  • Income-related Employment and Support Allowance
  • Support under Part VI of the Immigration and Asylum Act 1999
  • The guaranteed element of Pension Credit
  • Child Tax Credit
  • Working Tax Credit run-on
  • Universal Credit

If this is the case you can apply for free school meals.

We’re aware that not all families struggling to feed their children will meet these criteria. You might also want to check if Family Action runs a Food On Our Doorstep programme in your area. These programmes allow you to buy heavily discounted food.

Finally, try our tips and tricks for making perfect packed lunches.

Is there a simple way of measuring my child’s feet for school shoes?

For many parents shoe shopping requires a costly trip out to the shoe shop to measure their child’s feet and buy school shoes.

Save some of the hassle by downloading Startrite’s free paper measuring gauge. You don’t have to buy their products, but this should help you shop around for a bargain.

My child has special educational needs and/or disabilities. Do you have any advice for helping with returning to school?

Family Actions’ experts from across our services helped us to write this useful guide for families of children with SEND. It addresses many of the questions parents ask, such as managing transitions between schools and year groups and getting the right documentation in place beforehand.

My children are moving from pre-school or nursery to “big school” and I’m worried they might struggle to adapt… do you have any advice?

We’ve also published an article on exactly this topic: How to prepare for the first day of nursery or pre-school through play. Take a look to find out all about what “school readiness” means, and how we can support children to be school-ready.

How do I find out if my child is happy at school?

It’s a good idea to set aside a short amount of time after school to discuss how your child’s day went with them, perhaps in the car, when walking home, or as you all eat your evening meal together. It can be useful to frame this in a positive way by talking about what went well, as this can help reduce negative thinking which can in turn affect sleep.

Here are some good conversation starters:

  • What was the best thing about today?
  • What is one thing you learnt today about something or someone?
  • What was your favourite lesson today? (If your child is feeling talkative, you can then ask what made it a good lesson.)

You don’t have to be specific, as asking a general question can easily open the door to a wider conversation. If they ask you a question and you don’t know the answer don’t worry. You can reassure them that even though you don’t know now, you’ll find out the answer later.

Some children might dislike being the centre of attention during these discussions. If this is the case, try playing a game or doing an activity together and dropping it in with other questions about their interests. You can also enlist the help of a beloved aunt, uncle or grandparent if your child seems like they don’t want to share with you for any reason.

How can I manage my child’s worries?

Guatemalan culture has a tradition of giving children “worry dolls”. These are small dolls children can assign their worries to, and place under their pillows at night. This tradition goes back to the Mayans and is still a smart tactic today!

Another good way to manage children’s worries is to encourage them to defer their worries and schedule a time to focus on them. Those of us prone to anxious thoughts will know that often what feels catastrophic in the moment can feel much less so given time. By deferring worry we contain it and often find that it’s less distressing when the allotted time comes around.

As parents and carers, we should avoid reassuring our children too much, as this can actually increase anxious feelings. Instead, try to encourage children to question their worries and develop problem solving skills. This helps to develop their tolerance of uncertainty, which is a skill that will serve them well later in life.

For more tips about preparing children emotionally read our article about tackling complex feelings and back to school anxiety.

You can also check out Childline’s calm zone for children that includes several innovative and different ways to manage worries and stress.

I am concerned that my child is experiencing mental health problems

Information from the charity Nip in the Bud shows that about one in ten children aged between five and sixteen are diagnosed with a problem every year, and about 75% of mental illnesses are thought to start before the age of 25. Nip in the Bud’s resources for parents and carers are invaluable for anyone wishing to find out more.

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If you’re feeling overwhelmed, worried or upset about any aspect of your family life, FamilyLine is here for you. We offer free emotional support and guidance on family relationships, conflict, parenting, caring, financial worries and more.

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