How to use play to prepare your child for the first day of school

We discuss how to playfully prepare your child for the first day of school.

Preparing your child for their first day in school needn’t be loaded with worry. You can practise many of the things that will be required of them at home in a fun, low-pressure and playful way.

Toileting

Toileting, for example, can be a real struggle for teachers with a class of dozens. If your child can go to the toilet on their own and wipe their own bottom, it will make all the difference. But who could possibly find the fun in that?

Meet Family Action’s Pre-School Supervisor Teresa. She said: “The trick is to take all the pressure off and gently encourage them – be enthusiastic about going to the toilet and seize opportunities when they arise… Encouragement is everything. Stickers are like gold dust for children, and can be used to get them interested, and sometimes all it takes is patience. There have been times I’ve sat in the bathroom with a child for an hour while they get ready… I’ve even taken books and construction blocks in there!”

Reading and literacy

If there’s one thing the teachers and staff we talked to agree on, it’s that you can’t read too much to your children. The good news is that you can make this time pull double duty by educating them about what to expect. The charity BookTrust has a comprehensive list of books on the subject of starting school which are entertaining and enlightening.

Schools often develop work around the themes of a book. You can do the same by planning real-life nature activities around the stories you read. For example, you might visit a local farm if you’ve been reading about the Billy Goats Gruff. Teresa adds: “They’re sponges at this age, and building activities around a theme or story really helps to fire their imagination.”

A lot of local libraries will run free theme days for parents and their children over the holidays. These are often themed around stories. The important thing is to develop a love of books and reading, rather than to hammer it home. It can work better to read to your children a little but often. This can also be useful for parents who only have small windows of time between work and other responsibilities.

Writing and pen control

If you’re worried about how best to prepare your child for the first day of school, you might be tempted to focus on writing. Some parents might try to do writing exercises with children beforehand. If your child is a little older and they’re quite capable this is fine. But it’s important not to worry children who aren’t quite there yet. Instead, try and shift your focus away from writing and towards mark making.

Pen control requires fine and gross motor skills. These can be developed through play, such as:

picking up a stick and mixing mud
digging in the sand
playing with modelling dough or water
playing with dry spaghetti (it requires delicate handling not to break it).

Maths

When your children first arrive at school, maths is about basic counting skills and familiarity with numbers, as this is the foundation for all that follows.

A good way to prepare your children for this is by playing board games and games involving dice, as these often present numbers in patterns. They’re particularly good for subitising, which is where we learn to recognise the number of objects without having to count. A great example of this is with the numbers on dice or dominoes, which have standard layouts to represent a six, for example.

However, it can also be useful to simply count things as part of daily games, or during daily tasks. For example, you could count the number of oranges in the fruit bowl when unpacking shopping.

Communication and interaction

Primary school involves lots of communication and interaction with others. If you can, try to keep these skills up during the holidays. Arrange a play date with children from pre-school or perhaps cousins, or take your child to sports clubs, children’s centres and other activities that you can leave them at.

These activities help to broaden their horizons and prepare them to spend time away from you during the school day. Should you not be able to access these for any reason, keep those communication skills sharp by talking to them. Talk about what you see together when you’re out and about, discuss signs for things such as bus stops and libraries and narrate the games you play together – for example, “I’m putting the green dog in the small house.”

Teresa added: “Talk to your child and share your plans to help them understand, listen and follow instructions. Some children will question this but that’s great. A child who’s questioning is still communicating – by answering those questions you’re developing the confidence for them to ask for help when they need it later and you’re not there. And if they disagree that’s fine too. This helps them develop the negotiation skills they’re going to need to interact with other children at school.”

While language is useful for developing reading and writing skills, it’s also a vital skill for learning in general. Children who can communicate are less frustrated as they can express themselves. They can tell teachers they’re thirsty or need the toilet, for example, build relationships with other children and better interact with the world around them.

A close up of a child adding vegetables to a pizza topping

Following instructions and setting expectations

A particularly good activity for following instructions is working together on food preparation. This is also a great way of stealthily preparing them for school dinners. Many schools publish their menus so you could look them up and cook some of the dishes they’re unfamiliar with during the holidays so they’re confident by the time school comes round.

For a fun diversion you can even practice drinking milk together through a straw on the carpet – anything that makes the transition to school less alien. It might help to talk with them about the school day. We’ve written an article that covers what to expect during the school day but CBeebies also has a collection of videos about starting school.

Make sure your child knows that school is ongoing, like pre-school. Our Early Years Champion Leanne explains: “I’ve heard stories of children finishing school on the first day and then thinking that’s it… that they’ve ‘done’ school, which can be quite hard to recover from!”

Another good way to prepare your child for the first day of school is to practice walking, driving or catching the bus to and from school. This helps to familiarise your child with the route and also prevents you both arriving late on the first day, which can be a source of added stress.

Finally, it’s worth establishing the bedtime and morning routine before you actually go back. This shifts some of the work off the big day itself and allows you to see any problems before they occur. Some children, for example, might be used to having breakfast at pre-school, so changing that routine can come as a shock.

Dress and uniforms

It can be fun choose your child’s uniform together, so they feel involved in the process. Doing so also allows them to tell you what they find comfortable. This is much more important than many of us consider and can be vital for some children with special educational needs and disabilities.

Getting this right also helps teachers, who have to manage lots of children in their class. If your child can take off and put on their coat or shoes without support it takes some pressure off them. It also makes it less of a big deal for your child.

Choose the easiest options you can that fit within your chosen school’s dress code – pop studs on jackets, Velcro on shoes and mittens with string to prevent loss of gloves.

As parent Sam shared: “between my two children I think I bought at least 30 pairs of gloves over two terms… and that may be an understatement”. Shoes can be a problem, with some children struggling to tell the difference between shoes intended for left and right feet. This can be avoided quite simply, by sticking different stickers to each shoe.

It’s also a good idea to show children the name tags on their clothes and labels. This helps give them a sense of ownership and helps them not to lose their things!

Another thing to avoid is wearing new shoes on the first day of school, as this could be another source of discomfort on a difficult day. Instead, let them wear them in for a few weeks first.

One final note

Despite all this advice we’re giving you, there are many things you won’t be able to practice to prepare your child for the first day of school. Don’t worry about what you can’t prepare for, and don’t beat yourself up about how much time you have when you DO have time to prepare. Or, as one of our staff put it: “Don’t be embarrassed by who you are and what you can or can’t do. You are already teaching your children one of the most valuable lessons they can learn – that they are loved, safe and secure”.

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How to use play to prepare your child for the first day of school

Toileting

Reading and literacy

Writing and pen control

Maths

Communication and interaction

Following instructions and setting expectations

Dress and uniforms

One final note

Call, text, email or web chat FamilyLine

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