Ah yes, the party for a one-year-old child… That’s a talking point. Most adults, when challenged, would struggle to remember much from their childhood before the age of two, and how much is remembered is an area that attracts a lot of research in our field.
I’ve even heard it said that the parties are more for the parent’s social media account than the child.
This has filtered through to everyday discussions, and I’ve definitely spoken to parents that would challenge whether it’s worth having a party for a child that young, who might not remember it – I’ve even heard it said that the parties are more for the parent’s social media account than the child.
I think that’s harsh, and I would challenge it on one level by saying that, if we’re honest with ourselves, doesn’t everybody care what other people think of them as a parent? We might know we’re good parents but, if our mum is in the room … well, you’re going to see a show!
But there’s something else at play here that does need addressing… because it suggests that nothing you do matters during that period if your children won’t remember it, and that couldn’t be more wrong.
Babies’ brains start to develop in the womb and in the first two years development is rapid. A really, really powerful example from our work is that mums who sing to their baby in the womb, often find that their child recognises their mum’s voice and will turn to them if they speak in our sessions.
We’re not simply “switched on” at two. People connect babies starting to talk with them starting to think, but the thinking comes long before… It’s why we stress the importance of the first 1001 days.
They will know they were loved from the moment they were born because they will remember how they felt in general.
Those early times – even back to in utero – is when they learn who they can trust, and though they might not remember the details, what they will remember is the feeling of happiness through their early childhood and feeling safe – those long-term feelings can’t be faked. They will know they were loved from the moment they were born because they will remember how they felt in general.
And the opposite is true too, and we know that children whose parents pass away or grow up in a warzone can be traumatized even if they don’t remember the circumstances very well – even though it might be no-one’s fault.
I always say these memories don’t last, but they still live. So, the one-year-old birthday can bring a lovely sense of occasion, and parents shouldn’t feel bad whether they want to mark it, or if they don’t feel like they want to for any reason.
Whatever happens, that one perfect party won’t make a difference… the everyday is what matters.
But, overall, it’s better for a one-year-old to be loved and interacted with every day and, whatever happens, that one perfect party won’t make a difference. Just remember that babies’ brains and memories are developing all the time so the everyday is what matters because, even if the photos are terrible, you’re laying down that solid foundation.
For most busy families, finding the time to come together has never been so hard. But it isn’t the amount of time you spend together or snaps for the socials that matter – it’s the memories you make together. This summer, we’re encouraging families to forget about perfection with an Imperfectly Perfect Picnic. By getting every generation together, you’ll find lots to laugh about while showing your support for families who are struggling. Download your picnic pack today.
